The Lord really IS good all the time!

        This fall began with swim season, as it has for the past 12 years for my family and the past 2 for me personally. For me that means lots of early mornings, sore muscles, tired limbs, hard work-outs and just a general stress added to my life. And for what? One minute and nineteen seconds. I often wonder how my mom does it. She must've driven the route to the pool countless amounts of times and spent so much money on team gear and new suits and invested so much of her time for the thrill of......a one minute -- sometimes 27 second -- race of one of her children.

      As a Day, I swim. Swimming is kind of a 'Day thing'. I have swam since I was 4 years old and swam every summer league since until it was my time to shine in the high school spotlight. I have always been a breaststroker too. Thats my event. I love the 100 breaststroke, my legs were somehow meant to kick like a frog...not like scissors. In high school league I've kept a pretty fair record of winning district championships in the breaststroke and freshman year even a state title.

   This past season I have focused more on the breaststroke because some of the top breastrokers last year had graduated so it was my year to make it to state. I dropped time consistently throughout the season leading up to districts. District prelims came on Friday and I was nervous. I swam my 50 freestyle and placed 6th for finals the next day -- thats good. Then came breaststroke. I felt ready, although of course I was nervous. I swam hard and took time off and placed 5th for finals -- thats good too.

    I felt generally satisfied with my swim and went to talk to my coach. Thats when then announced my disqualification. Thats when I cried. Thats when they told me I didn't touch the wall with both hands when I know I definitely did. Even my coach saw that I definitely did.

     I was crushed and so so frustrated. This is what I've been training for all season! This is the race I've been visualizing for months. I often include God in my races and I do believe that he swims alongside me most days, as cheesy as that sounds. God knew how important this was to me. He knew better than anyone. We walked about this race every day. And now, I was disqualified. I lost my chance at district finals and therefore, state. I lost it. Everything I had been training for. I was shocked, I had never been disqualified before, not to mention at a championship meet.

   I cried myself to sleep Friday night very clearly stating to God that I did NOT understand. I dont think I have ever made it more clear to God that I did not understand something. I wanted this so so bad and he knew that, we had been working together all season for this. I heard a soft "you'll see, just wait. Be patient." but pushed it far, far away. I did not want to hear that. I wanted to hear a call from the referee saying he was sorry and they decided to put me back in. I wanted to hear my coach's voice saying "just kidding, you're in, it was a joke". I didn't hear either of those so I cried myself to sleep instead.

   The next morning I woke up and decided that I would just do my best in the 50 freestyle. Maybe I should trust God a little. I was seated 6th and when you're seated there, you can't move down at all so I really had nothing to lose. I put all my energy and attention in my race and was actually very pumped for it. I swam it. I dropped even more time that I had for prelims. I beat one of my best friends, Sophie. I also missed state by .05 seconds. But somehow, that was okay with me. I knew that time was worthy of a wildcard so I knew I would most likely go to state through that event. I very triumphantly marched back to my coach who told me he was going to switch me into the 200 Freestyle Relay because I swam my 50 so well. So I swam that too and we won! (I got a nice shiny gold medal, too!)

My relay team: Me, Sophie, Gwen and Hannah

    My friend, Hannah, grabbed me on Friday as soon as they announced the DQ and said "Hey, we prayed before our race. We asked God to do what he wanted us to do and you DQed. he has a reason for that." At the time, I wiped tears away and nodded, pretending to agree and think those were words of wisdom when really, I felt betrayed and frustrated and all I wanted to do was punch the referee in the face.

Hannah and I

      However, as I accepted the medal for winning first in the relay, as I march triumphantly towards my team as I reach another milestone in my season, and as I receive a confirmation call that I will indeed be swimming at state this year to gain a state title, I think to myself  'hey, maybe Hannah had something there'. Maybe God really does know that plans he has for us. Maybe he really does go before us and prepares a way. Maybe The Lord really IS good all the time like we say in church. Maybe he really does turn our sorrows into dancing and our mourning into joy.

    To you, his whole story may seem little in the big picture. It may seem irrelevant to how we are supposed to trust god. But I believe that God has a way of teaching us in  the little things so we can apply it to the big things. I was beyond disappointed when it dawned on me that I wouldn't be swimming my event at state. But I look at my finals day. If I hadn't DQed, I know I wouldn't have put nearly as much energy into my 50 free as I did, therefore I wouldn't have been switched into the relay (which I will now most likely be swimming at state as well). I look at that and think "wow, God really did have a plan for me all along". And that is what makes me even more excited to walk through this life with God I know I can trust. A God that I know is good.

       I'm not saying trusting God will be a breeze for me now, by any means. I find that a very  hard thing for me to do. But there's a quote from The Chronicles Of Narnia; Aslan and Lucy are talking together and Lucy is scared about going back into her world because Aslan won't be there with her. Aslan tells her he will be there, but he has a different name there and she must learn to know him by it. Then proceeds to say "This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there."

   I can just hear God whispering to me as I prepare for state -- "This is the reason you were disappointed for a little while. Because trusting me in that little thing, you learn to trust me better with the big things."

   

Whirlwind

 
   My life is starting! People are starting to make me responsible for more things and having expectations of me that I've never really been aware of. And when you're little all you can dream of is growing up and doing big things and being 'independent'. But now that I'm getting closer and closer I wish I was still 6 years old. This whirlwind of being a woman and learning to be responsible is both exciting and scary. Both fun and stressful. I began my junior year of high school at Whatcom Community College as a Running Start student on Wednesday and that just seems crazy. Theres no way I can be old enough for that! But I guess its true that time never stops for anybody.

What a crazy life we have that you can feel everything from your childhood culminating into who you're becoming. That as you grow mentally, physically and emotionally you can feel every little break as you begin to become a little more independent from your parents.

I'm in no way saying I'm mature enough for this so I'm very thankful I have one more year until I become legally 'dependent'. But then again look at Isaac....hes been legally independent for over two years and still lives in the treehouse...

  I'm excited for this time and also scared. But a good scared. The kind of scared where you know you'll learn a lot. The kind of scared where you know that God has it all in his hands so really, it feels kind of silly to be scared at all.

I promise I'm still alive!!

 Swimming is finally over. I now remember what it feels like to come home after school instead of facing 3 more tired, wet hours of hard work and sore muscles.

  Everyday I get to spend with Ruben feels like more and more confirmation towards wanting to work with children in my future. Hes a cutie!!

 

   Andrea and Ben are off to Africa. Their wedding was one of the best I've ever attended even though I cried through most of it.  I never truly realized how important my family is to me and how much they've influenced who I am until they started moving away and getting married...not the best time to realize it. I couldn't be more thankful for a big sister like Andrea to lead our pack of crazies that I'm blessed to call my siblings. I'm so so excited for them but I miss them and want them to stay with me forever at the same time.

  I just realized that I never actually said anything about Malibu. It seems like such a long time ago...and it was. Malibu was one of the best experiences. So much love felt with the group of people I was with and the leaders who prayed for us and lead us and sang with us and played games with us. There was so much to do there including hiking, water skiing, swimming, tubing, there was a ropes course, everything you can think of basically. I'm really happy Isaac and I could go together also because that was a great thing to be able to share with a sibling and then always have someone there to reminisce with after you get back. God was --and is-- very present there and it was a huge blessing to be able to see all the people who accepted Jesus after that week was over. You never truly realize how much the things you do and the words you say effect people until you get to see the outcome of it in other people accepting christ for the first time.

Our Sehome group

School this year has been easier to get into a routine of classes, homework and time. Notice  I didn't say time management....? :)

  Swimming wears me out more than I think any sport should, but thats the price to pay to stay in shape and swim at state, right? 

  God continues to bless me with fantastic friends. And he blesses me by just helping me to wake up in the morning, really. Its a good thing Gods faithfulness doesn't depend on our faithfulness (Romans 3:3).  And its a good thing he believes in me. Sometimes thats the hardest thing. Faithfulness and belief. So I'm blessed to serve a God who has an overwhelming amount of both.